A New Job?

Ok ok dont get too excited if anyone from Cisco is reading this, cant get rid of me that easily. I was thinking of becoming a professional present opener and when that gets boring, an online shopper for 8 year olds (ok just an online shopper full stop) as that is what i feel like i do every day at the minute, lucky me!

I should have been at our all hands today, sad to have missed it (honest i really was) but so hard with no car, someone has to run me around and i have this big 2.5 hr journey stuck in the middle of the day and thats if i manage to stay awake, its just impossible, so all work is now conducted in bed (email) or in the gazebo (meetings and visits ;-)

Anyway back to professional pressie opening mode, today's pressie was a massive hamper from ABS - very very nice hamper, so heavy i could hardly lift it, champers, smoked salmon and all sorts, very exciting little arrival that was, obviously wasnt worth more than £50 though ;-) How kind are people its just unbelievable. Thank you so much guys.

More embarrasing is my rather large list of online shopping today:

Boy type knickers with matching tops of course. I can no longer do elastic on top of legs, boys have the right idea much more comfy. I read about this in a blog and its true, when you've got sores the worst thing is knicker elastic, radiotherapist was most impressed i already knew about it when we chatted today. Even with all this going on i cant stand the idea of wearing skanky knickers with stupid logos printed on the arse (yes some "pink" ones that i do have have been only thing i can wear). Already dispatched apparently so something to look forward to receiving tomorrow - pressie from myself.

Elemis - like shed loads of the stuff to pamper myself with, love it and they keep doing blooming offers and i cant resist, now have an assortment of bags with elemis products, some lavender stuff and anti ageing today and some stuff to rub on my legs as cant use nice stuff anywhere else. Mind you body has never seen so much moisturiser!

A BBQ E-Cloth set for Phil, bet he'll be excited about that pressie (NOT) well i did buy him some elemis moisturiser that he likes too.

Some very bright pink nail polish to brighten up my toes, just not sure i can be bothered to get down there to do put it on and dont worry girlies you dont need to offer I've got a lady that does coming to do it for me in a week or so ;-)

And the list for Connor who is not blooming stupid and knows if you want mummy to get you stuff, ask her to put you to bed and look at the computer together. He is fixated with footballs at the moment, not football as much just the bloody balls. Honestly!
So for him I've ordered:

A new football (what else) - he said he'll pay, a likely story
Two new football outfits - ok totally my fault he didnt ask for those but he needs them
New football socks - deffo needed them, will clash horribly with his new shoes which havent shown up yet but will he care, no.

Then there were the rubbers, pencil, lead for said pencil, erasable pens and pencil sharpener he asked for.

I would have liked to have added the hot tub to the list but alas not, hurry up hubby!

Oops excuse me immodium moment! back in a tic.

How am i feeling, well it isnt getting any better, right on the edge at the moment and trying not to let it win me over as a long way to go and the thought of feeling ill every day is rather depressing. I feel tireder, very sore (but radiographer not interested until skin has actually split, thanks) and nauseous again (NO!!!!!!!), radiographer said thats normal about this time and is caused by radio build up. Bleeding bits and metal taste in the mouth, these last things apparently caused by the chemo even though i dont have it right now. Drinking more water though which has helped a bit with the burning and drank some cranberry (with a sneaky vodka in it), I heard cancer doesnt like it!

I figure the worse i feel the worse the cancer feels and i have to go through this to get out the other side so really trying to keep myself busy with visitors every day, which leads me to this evening. Sorry to say not a lot to report, everyone was running late, lovely to see annabelle and her mum and the girls but we were all tired so quite a subdued affair and betty's new beau wasnt drinking so all in all not a lot to report i'm afraid, although he seems very nice. The gazebo is getting well used, can definitely recommend one.

One more sleep bloggers and one more radiotherapy and then a weekend off thank goodness. Connor is keeping us busy with parties and football at the weekend and visits from long lost friends and next week i have different volunteers every day practically to take me to the hospital and even a very special person cooking me lunch one day for when i return (yummy).

Thank you all you special people, its not true what people say that everyone is there and then forgets after the first week, well not for me anyway, an awesome feeling and with that thought i'm going to go to sleep and hopefully not have the dreams i keep having about spiders and fake eyelashes, dont ask.......

Night