The Battle Continues -- I'm definitely winning!

Hi Bloggers,

You'll be pleased to hear I'm in good spirits, absolutely no idea why, nothing has changed in fact if anything its got worse and we had an almost 5 hour round trip today trekking backwards and forwards between two hospitals but you know what I beat that blooming consultants expectations and my skin didnt actually break, yippee so that must be the reason why I'm upbeat!

Before I carry on I should say Dr Essapen is a thoroughly professional and nice lady but its much more fun to think she had to get her own back on me for daring not to split my skin as she had instructed ;-) She begrudgingly said I was doing well but was there a little glimmer in her eye when she told me my white blood cell count was low and she needed me to have a series of 3 injections to get the old bone marrow into overdrive. I think there was. I'm sure there was particularly when she could tell me about the side effects ;-)What an injection, a great big prick in the thigh, I actually shouted out loud. John (the lovely gay guy) asked if I'd like to do the other two myself, even gave me directions on how to do it, yeah right I said bloody funny and absolutely no chance, I mean I can't even look at what he's doing everytime he takes blood, no chance of me sticking a needle anywhere at all let alone in my stomach or leg. He's good and it really really hurt! Reads rude sorry about that, couldnt help it I'm in a jokey kind of mood tonight.

Hubby took me today, really nice that he was there as was such a long trip, we did sneak in a quick bite to eat and an icecream as well though which was lovely. I know I said I'm not eating dairy but seem to have the runs every night so thought what the hell to another night I can always be good tomorrow can't I. Had a bit of a potential ouch moment when Hubby went to remove loose hair off me but of course it wasnt hair it was one end of the stiches across my chest, made my teeth go all funny just thinking about how painful that would have been, OUCh!

Hair still falling out, Dr Essapen said dont wash it so much, she just wants me to look s**t as well as everything else, I told you ;-) Anyway apparently rarely happens with this chemo but happening with me, just shows how well its working, great can it just work on the cancer cells instead please. Also found out that a friend has been diagnosed with cancer of the tongue, yuk, not nice so I'm thinking about them tonight, just starting out on this treatment road and realised I'm kind of a veteran at this point and more than halfway through. Hoorah. Dr Essapen kept trying to tell me it was 14 treatments today, think she wanted to sneak in another one but i'm watching her I told her its 15, she argued, I won (well that little battle anyhow).

Well thats about it for today folks, been working all night, prepping for my team meeting that I wont be able to attend, but its good, everything is carrying on as it should and I want to say a big thank you to my team (especially james for that) now if you could just bring a couple of $m extra in July you'd be my favourite team ever ;-) Tell you something funny, do you know what a may bug is (otherwise known as a cockchafer, honest i didnt make that name up but its very rude!), well if you dont they are absolutely scary, disgusting flying bugs and we get loads of them (thankfully just in may). Phil and I have been sat in like 100 degree heat with all the doors and windows closed because we are both so petrified of the disgusting things, all fluttery and horrid, natalie climbed under the table last week when we were in the gazebo and one flew in.

Guess what only: 16 Days, 13 Hours and 4 Minutes until my last treatment. Hubby booked me a personal shopper for afterwards so I can get something beautiful for Dave and Nina's lovely wedding, how exciting and cool is that.

All joking aside, I have a quote thingy on my igoogle, look at the one for today:
"You must take personal responsibility, You cannot change the circumstances,
the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself!"
Its so true, I cant change the fact I have cancer or what happens to me in the process, but I can be the best person I can be, take hold of all the love that is coming my way and know that I will come out of this the person you all believe me to me, better, stronger and most importantly a cancer survivor. Thanks for believing in me everyone I couldnt bear to make you all sad another night.

Lots of Love

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