Bikini Body Babes - Yep thats what we are!

Well bloggers what a weekend, I have not laughed so much for so long for an awful long time! And can you believe I came home today and went for a 4 and a half mile run round virginia water lake, I really dont know what came over me and I cant blame anyone else except myself because it was all my idea, the thing is I made it, still cant believe it and neither can my legs, boy are they hurting now, god knows what they will be like by the time morning comes....

So back to 6.45am yesterday morning and thankfully no hangover, good start when you are going to be exercising all day. Its embarrassing to write it down and honest we dont have an alcohol problem and of course we were on the bikini bootcamp but we still managed to down a bottle of champers and 4 glasses of wine each, good job we started early! I think Drill Instructor Mike got the measure of us pretty quickly because when they messed up our beauty bookings so they werent at the same timem as way of consolation he got them to give us a free bottle of champers, not that I'm complaining mind.

Breakfast was three little bowls of fruit and some yummy kind of porridge, muesli thing. Mummy Mumma (thats the rather large coloured lady) asked if there was any more after that, think she was looking for a bacon sarnie, she wasnt impressed when Mike said she shouldnt have her cup of tea, caffeine not good before a long day exercising apparently. Actually her and her daughter, Baby Mumma were quite nice and rather interesting but clearly not that experienced in the exercise department. Still cant really work out why they were there given that Mummy Mumma didnt/couldnt do half the stuff! Sian the pharmacist is the slowest eater on the planet I have decided and Raymondo is a close second..

So off we set at 7.30am for a brisk hour and a half walk, followed by circuits. Raymondo didnt disappoint in his sexy outfit, couldnt do boxing because he crashed his microlight it turns out?!?. We were at this point joined by Drill Instructor Number 2, his name is Mark, its all M's! At the end of each circuit (we had to do three, on the sand, 2 long gruelling hours) we had to throw a die and take the challenge, what do we get, jump in the pool first (save that for the end) and then cha cha cha (very amusing watching the instructors, they didnt like that one) and then a crab race, which of course I won. Then its jump in the pool time, Raymondo took his top off, Michelle had to stop me grabbing his moobs and beer belly, the rest of us did our Wet T Shirt look. So whats next, finally some real food (michelle and I were so starving we nicked half the bread rolls) and then a cross country bike ride. I'm in my padded shorts, no flies on me, Raymondo and Cabbage Patch Sian (sorry but just realised today thats what she looks like) are in their Jeans!!!!! Only brought one set of clothes they say. Gross, I'm like you are not seriously going to do this exercise in your jeans. Raymondo comes back with drawstring shorts on, OMG me and my big mouth, even more gross now. He is soooo competitive (well he had to be decent at something) and right up Mark's arse (small but perfectly formed as Michelle said). How muddy, we are like slipping all over the place, my white trainers are black, my face and arse covered in mud but really really exhilarating if a little scary and very hard work. I like the grove, so laid back, we go into the studio covered in mud, honest, to do our fitball class and stretching, cabbage patch sian, still in her jeans, honestly. Michelle says their stretching looked like foreplay, I am laughing hysterically but couldnt bring myself to look. Michelle fell of her fitball, I am laughing so hard at her I fall off mine too, that will teach me!

Next a relaxing treatment, that was everyone else's not mine, mine is a pretty rough scrubbing and massage but its good none the less. Little cat nap required at that point, on my own as you will remember cos of mess up on treatment times, michelle wakes me up with champers, oh ok then I say. We polish that off quicker than you can say jack robinson and try and gatecrash a couple of weddings on the way to dinner. Seriously we had to walk through both to get to the restaurant, we could have gone for it but how could we miss another fantastic night with the misfits!

We are exhausted, literally eat and stagger back off to bed and deep slumber, today we discover that Raymondo and Cabbage Patch Sian stayed for hours so they could keep tucking into the free buffet. Turns out they only won the blooming trip, at a pharmaceutical conference, wonder if Raymondo wore his shorts to that. This morning she comes to breakfast in lilac hotpants. Yikes. She says all this spa kind of stuff is not top of her priority list, frankly looking at her cellulite it should be (hell we've all got it but dont need to show the stuff off , I could see that holey cheese from last night I swear it), maybe her priority is staying white, she is milk bottle, only one thing worse than brown cellulite in lilac hotpants, you got it its white cellulite. Sorry if I sound like a cow, just saying what everyone thinks and really nothing terribly personal, sure she is a lovely lady really. Sorry but after the courgette thing I cant warm to Ray so I'm not going to say he's nice, tight wad, complaining he had to sign for our dinners last night (thats cos he ate enough for the lot of us!) as if he was going to have to pay for them. Some people! Plus I saw as he was checking out today that he had nicked the extra bikini butt bag we were given, saddo.

Well my story is nearly over, we believe it or not went for more punishment in the gym, we were feeling good. All I can say is running isnt my strong point and balance isnt Michelles, we had a real giggle and poor Mike showed us some more exercises, sure he was glad to see the back of us all, little does he know we will be back for more. Totally totally worth every penny we loved it and they are going to do a ski bootcamp apparently, sign us up!

Night Night, hope you enjoyed the read...

T
x

An imposter in our midst!!!! No Ifs, no butts....

OMG, there is a man on bikini bootcamp what is the world coming too, first we see Vanessa Feltz getting married, not literally but she was a very good look alike (her boobs (each one) were bigger than michelle's head!). She probably should have been on bootcamp but instead we got the motley crew:

A mother and daughter combo - training for 3 months prior to coming and still 5 stone overweight, EACH!
The ugly sisters - one has eaten a lemon, the other ate the whole bag, and she ate a Pizza for dinner ! Michelle said we could have a glass of wine cos they were on mojitos, they were non alcoholic it turns out......
Then there is the Scottish Widow, he's not dead but he's got a space at the table! She's called Pamela but hasnt got the boobs to match.
To complete the group is the pharmacist (never had a facial before, or shaved her face although she should have) and her HUSBAND (RAY) the plumber, we know what he's servicing! Yes a bloke on bikini camp, they met at the rotary club, they are soooooo fit, he cycles 1.5 miles a day! He had to take a photo of us and then strop when I nicked one of his courgettes accidentally. He is soooo hunky, michelle and I are fighting over him, NOT!!!!! pictures to follow, the thought of him in his cycling shorts, how exciting.
And then there is the lipstick lesbians, thats us.
Needless to say we had to come to bed early from dinner for yet another drink, yes this is the reality behind bootcamp (yes Ray it is a bikini bootcamp even though you claim not to know that), you drink a couple of bottles of alcohol just to survive it. Have we done anything yet I hear you ask apart from sup a bottle or two, well yes we've been drilled by Mike the drill instructor and split in half by the yoga teacher (show off!) who was trying to get us to do the "fish" amongst other things. At the end she said something like AMUFU DAYA, the woman next to me (double ugly sister) repeated it as "have a nice day"!!!!

God we've had such a laugh already and we havent even started yet. Loads more material where that came from. Off for a alcohol induced kip before our 6.45am wake up call.

Love from the lesbo's XXXXX

Bikini Bootcamp here I come!!!

I am so excited to be going to boot camp tomorrow...... not really sure what to expect but a bit of girly chatter, a teensy bit of exercise and lots of luxury oh and maybe a glass or two of champers what more could a girl wish for! Michelle has told me that one of the classes we have is the type of yoga that includes chanting, heaven help us, I just cant help being naughty I just know I'm going to giggle or something. Havent packed yet, havent even thought about what to take so guess who's going to be rushing around tomorrow morning. I shall let you know all about it when I get back, I really should have had a permatan done so I could fit in ;-)

I met a very very lovely lady today, life does some funny things which put you in touch with people you would never normally meet, its an awesome thing though, us women god we are strong, beautiful, amazing creatures. Men please take note! On the subject of notes, one to self, dont try and drink water from large bottle when driving down the motorway in the fast lane, thank goodness it wasnt from the chiller as it went right in my lap, yikes.

God I really must go to bed I need my beauty sleep I've got surrey housewives to compete with tomorrow dont you know! I watched mistresses earlier, what a disgustingly smutty girly program that is, probably why I love it and now i'm watching undercover boss, oh my god what a job, sorting rubbish on the picking line, and one of the poor guys had cancer, I feel so bloody fortunate. My hubby needs to watch this programme he says its pointless doing recycling, he always chucks everything in the same bin! Missing my hubby, he's in South Africa, tells me its tough but hes at a lodge going on safari in the morning, I am sooooo jealous, I want to go back on safari like so bad. The spider we found this morning could have come from one, must have been the big brother of the one i flushed down the kitchen sink last night. Absolutely massive, I'm talking fangs and everything, we were all running round the lounge this morning too scared to even squish the thing in case it ran behind the sofa, unlucky personal trainer that was his first job of the day.

Anyway off I go, bet you cant wait for my next blog ;-)

T

Officially a Cancer Survivor!!!!!

Yes I really cant believe it, even three days later, I'm still in shock about thursday's news! Well I guess like they say no news is good news, so the fact they kept me hanging around for the outcome was because it was good news right. It was so bizarre, we hadn't even managed to sit down before Dr Essapen said the scans were clear, hubby had to ask her outright, did that mean I was in remission, yes she said. I think we both wanted to cry at that moment, I really cant explain the rush of emotions but it was pretty huge. I really didnt thank her properly we just had a chat about sore bits, fissures, dilators (dont ask) and other such lovely subjects and I was on my way. We snuck to the pub for a sneaky drink on the way home to celebrate, still was in shock. What a week, used my beautiful gift my team gave me and sat in the spa all day wednesday and then my baby came home Wednesday night and then this on thursday, all I needed was to win the lottery to make it the perfect hat trick, needless to say I didnt win the lottery but hubby did go and buy me a personalised numberplate on Friday, bless him, so it was pretty close to being the perfect week. Would be even better if it was in my name so I could actually use it on my car, men bless them always miss the small details ;-)

Friday I got a phone call from Dr Essapen's and then Dr Bearns secretary (they sure dont hang around) to arrange for me to see him before he went on hols. He is such a nice man, said he really remembered telling me and it was very upsetting for him which kind of surprised me as he does it all the time, he said sometimes people touch him (bet he says that to all the girls) and that I was very young so it had bothered him, he hasnt seen me since so we had a good chat about things. I confessed the scar from the portacath still really bothers me, seems to have quite a bit of scar tissue around it from what I can feel. Sounds really vain but if I had known what a scar it would leave I think I may have risked infection through a PIC line into the arm. I know I know it sounds dreadful but this thing on my chest reminds me every time I look at myself of the cancer. Maybe its good that I dont forget but I really did quite like that bit about myself before and I'm quite self conscious about it now. You'd think I'd cover it up if that were the case but I dont really. I am an odd sort ;-). Anyway to cut a longer story shorter he needs me to use a load of lotions and potions around the bottom area and take some nasty antibiotics, definitely no drinking with them and he said they can make you feel really ill but they will really help me sort things out "down there" so guess I'll be taking them then!

Had a lovely day yesterday, we went to Ascot with Connor, started out really boring but ended up having impromptu party at our house with all the football crowd, good fun but little headache this morning. Had to drop hubby at airport early this evening, really really odd as he's just been here for the last 4 months, I shall really miss having him here, I've grown really used to him being around again. Betty has clearly been taking blonde lessons over the weekend, she really surpassed herself this evening, resulted in me looking up bizarre things on the internet and having a very large glass of wine! Beyond that my lips are sealed, well for a little bit anyway.

Bootcamp next weekend, something to look forward to, how many outfits will I need for all this sweating I will be doing I wonder. Would we be terribly naughty if we snuck champagne in to have at the end of our virtuous days? sod it we are going to do it anyway. I think I will have a blogging frenzy next weekend, all those surrey housewives, bound to be a story or two in there for you all! People keep asking me what on earth I'm actually going to be doing but lets face it this is a bootcamp at the grove, so frankly it's all a bit easy, they are probably very famous last words but put it this way, the biggest loser it isnt, the only thing I'll be losing is my dignity if i'm not careful... God I hope there are some super unfit people at it. I ran up and down the drive four times yesterday trying to get in shape for it but my running up hill is pathetic, honestly a snail could do it faster, only good thing is I'm a stubborn cow so although its really really slow i dont stop running. Now just an odd aside I keep meaning to mention, I had stopped sweating must have had something to do with the cancer although I cant find reference to it anywhere but I definitely wasnt sweating for the last year or so when I exercised but now I do, really odd that one isnt it.

Saw my little bro this evening (well actually hes rather a large little bro), he goes to Uni in America on thursday, cant believe it where does time go, we will miss him particularly Connor who just adores him, took my mind off being in the house alone though, really really dont like that even though I am brave supermum it can get a bit scary up here on your own, if you let it.

And that my beautiful blogging fans is it for tonight, hacked off that so sleepy every afternoon and then seem to get "past it" and be up til 1am, no wonder I feel tired all the time. Actually getting the all clear seems to have released some major stress stuff because I have been really really tired ever since, I think its like when you stop at christmas or when you go on holiday and then you get sick. Hope I wont get something now.

Busy week ahead so must go. Nite Nite x

Year End Blog!

Yes I know not strictly year end for most people but it was Cisco's year end last week so have been super manic the last couple of weeks. Not allowed to really talk about these things but I personally did alright, hip hip hoorah!

Back to the business in hand though, I'm feeling the need to have a bit of a rant, not about the shocking service at the alexander pope pub in Twickenham we were in today, although they are very worthy of it (so bad it was funny) but about the medical profession. What is it with the secrecy thing, do they have some pact they sign which says dont tell anyone anything? I truly havent known what is going on the last couple of weeks, I was kind of aware that it was scan time but it wasnt until I rang up my oncologists secretary that I realised I did need both a CT and MRI scan and that only one lot had contacted me, so when i called about the MRI they said they had it down to call me in August go figure. Well anyway I had had both of those scans by last tuesday and so I settled down to wait for news (actually I was busy with year end but it was at the back of my mind), absolutely nothing, not a peep all week but then on Friday I open a letter that says I have an appointment for this Thursday. Call me old fashioned but couldnt they have telephoned with that news instead of sending me a letter that might not even have got here! And so now I'm left wondering is this normal, I mean they sent it the very same day I had the MRI scan should I be worried? and then I thought I'll take a little peek at the pictures they gave me, trouble is someone like me has no idea what they are looking at, those black blobs are probably an organ or a poo or something, best not I thought having scared myself to death and put them back. So here is my point what would have been wrong in telling me a month ago that this is exactly what would happen, I needed to chase up the scans, wait for my letter, perfectly normal, nothing to worry about and see you the week after. What could be so hard in doing that, of course you know the answer, it would break their air of mystery wouldn't it, fancy having a patient that had nothing to worry about.

Anyway enough of that I will tell more after Thursday obviously, although just one last thing I was quite smug after having the MRI last week as the woman after me was freaking out cos she couldnt do it. Can you believe you couldnt do something that might be imperative to your health, I wanted to shake the stupid woman, but she already was, honest she was actually shaking with fear, unfortunately I am a seasoned mri goer so I hardly notice the claustrophobia these days, couldnt see what her problem was ;-)

Connor - yes my little monkey, if you read this blog regularly you will know he is now in Slovakia with betty and I'm bereft. Phil is missing him but it just cant be as bad as me, honestly I feel ill with missing him, it is totally totally awful not to have him here I just cant describe it but I dont like it one little bit. We've had to leave him before to do work things but we've never been in the house and him be away and it just feels massive and cold and soulless. We've had a lovely chilled out time just worrying about ourselves, going to the gym, going out and that but it's just not right. I MISS HIM SO BAD it hurts if you didnt already notice. I think he misses us too but he's having a great time, charming the pants off all the slovakians and just so confident. The language thing just doesnt seem to be phasing him at all. He so defines me and when he comes back I am going to be so needy I'm going to drive him mad. Ok ok I will shut up about this now but one day in the future he can look back at my little diary here and know how special he is to me, the woman who didnt really want kids! Anyway I can not wait to pick him up on wednesday night, I think Daddy and I will do a little poster for him! We did him some little videos the other day on my new gorgeous Iphone 4, we are so soft. Phil unfortunately managed to completely freeze and basically kill his Iphone yesterday, as Connor said serves him right for gloating about getting his first, if he'd only given it to me. We spent half the day yesterday trying to fix the silly thing, they are fab until you have your whole life on one and it freezes then they are just awful!

The fitness regime is now down to me, I did my two weeks so I've got to keep it up now, particularly with my boot camp coming up, wish I would stop eating crap though, crap in, crap out as they say, ok toilet humour, never was any good at it, still bleeding, not good, another thing to mention on Thursday. Honestly though in pretty good shape physically and mentally all things considered so giving out all my strength to people that need it more than me right now.

Dreaming of my boy being home giving me big cuddles.
Night
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