Year End Blog!

Yes I know not strictly year end for most people but it was Cisco's year end last week so have been super manic the last couple of weeks. Not allowed to really talk about these things but I personally did alright, hip hip hoorah!

Back to the business in hand though, I'm feeling the need to have a bit of a rant, not about the shocking service at the alexander pope pub in Twickenham we were in today, although they are very worthy of it (so bad it was funny) but about the medical profession. What is it with the secrecy thing, do they have some pact they sign which says dont tell anyone anything? I truly havent known what is going on the last couple of weeks, I was kind of aware that it was scan time but it wasnt until I rang up my oncologists secretary that I realised I did need both a CT and MRI scan and that only one lot had contacted me, so when i called about the MRI they said they had it down to call me in August go figure. Well anyway I had had both of those scans by last tuesday and so I settled down to wait for news (actually I was busy with year end but it was at the back of my mind), absolutely nothing, not a peep all week but then on Friday I open a letter that says I have an appointment for this Thursday. Call me old fashioned but couldnt they have telephoned with that news instead of sending me a letter that might not even have got here! And so now I'm left wondering is this normal, I mean they sent it the very same day I had the MRI scan should I be worried? and then I thought I'll take a little peek at the pictures they gave me, trouble is someone like me has no idea what they are looking at, those black blobs are probably an organ or a poo or something, best not I thought having scared myself to death and put them back. So here is my point what would have been wrong in telling me a month ago that this is exactly what would happen, I needed to chase up the scans, wait for my letter, perfectly normal, nothing to worry about and see you the week after. What could be so hard in doing that, of course you know the answer, it would break their air of mystery wouldn't it, fancy having a patient that had nothing to worry about.

Anyway enough of that I will tell more after Thursday obviously, although just one last thing I was quite smug after having the MRI last week as the woman after me was freaking out cos she couldnt do it. Can you believe you couldnt do something that might be imperative to your health, I wanted to shake the stupid woman, but she already was, honest she was actually shaking with fear, unfortunately I am a seasoned mri goer so I hardly notice the claustrophobia these days, couldnt see what her problem was ;-)

Connor - yes my little monkey, if you read this blog regularly you will know he is now in Slovakia with betty and I'm bereft. Phil is missing him but it just cant be as bad as me, honestly I feel ill with missing him, it is totally totally awful not to have him here I just cant describe it but I dont like it one little bit. We've had to leave him before to do work things but we've never been in the house and him be away and it just feels massive and cold and soulless. We've had a lovely chilled out time just worrying about ourselves, going to the gym, going out and that but it's just not right. I MISS HIM SO BAD it hurts if you didnt already notice. I think he misses us too but he's having a great time, charming the pants off all the slovakians and just so confident. The language thing just doesnt seem to be phasing him at all. He so defines me and when he comes back I am going to be so needy I'm going to drive him mad. Ok ok I will shut up about this now but one day in the future he can look back at my little diary here and know how special he is to me, the woman who didnt really want kids! Anyway I can not wait to pick him up on wednesday night, I think Daddy and I will do a little poster for him! We did him some little videos the other day on my new gorgeous Iphone 4, we are so soft. Phil unfortunately managed to completely freeze and basically kill his Iphone yesterday, as Connor said serves him right for gloating about getting his first, if he'd only given it to me. We spent half the day yesterday trying to fix the silly thing, they are fab until you have your whole life on one and it freezes then they are just awful!

The fitness regime is now down to me, I did my two weeks so I've got to keep it up now, particularly with my boot camp coming up, wish I would stop eating crap though, crap in, crap out as they say, ok toilet humour, never was any good at it, still bleeding, not good, another thing to mention on Thursday. Honestly though in pretty good shape physically and mentally all things considered so giving out all my strength to people that need it more than me right now.

Dreaming of my boy being home giving me big cuddles.
Night
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