Officially a Cancer Survivor!!!!!

Yes I really cant believe it, even three days later, I'm still in shock about thursday's news! Well I guess like they say no news is good news, so the fact they kept me hanging around for the outcome was because it was good news right. It was so bizarre, we hadn't even managed to sit down before Dr Essapen said the scans were clear, hubby had to ask her outright, did that mean I was in remission, yes she said. I think we both wanted to cry at that moment, I really cant explain the rush of emotions but it was pretty huge. I really didnt thank her properly we just had a chat about sore bits, fissures, dilators (dont ask) and other such lovely subjects and I was on my way. We snuck to the pub for a sneaky drink on the way home to celebrate, still was in shock. What a week, used my beautiful gift my team gave me and sat in the spa all day wednesday and then my baby came home Wednesday night and then this on thursday, all I needed was to win the lottery to make it the perfect hat trick, needless to say I didnt win the lottery but hubby did go and buy me a personalised numberplate on Friday, bless him, so it was pretty close to being the perfect week. Would be even better if it was in my name so I could actually use it on my car, men bless them always miss the small details ;-)

Friday I got a phone call from Dr Essapen's and then Dr Bearns secretary (they sure dont hang around) to arrange for me to see him before he went on hols. He is such a nice man, said he really remembered telling me and it was very upsetting for him which kind of surprised me as he does it all the time, he said sometimes people touch him (bet he says that to all the girls) and that I was very young so it had bothered him, he hasnt seen me since so we had a good chat about things. I confessed the scar from the portacath still really bothers me, seems to have quite a bit of scar tissue around it from what I can feel. Sounds really vain but if I had known what a scar it would leave I think I may have risked infection through a PIC line into the arm. I know I know it sounds dreadful but this thing on my chest reminds me every time I look at myself of the cancer. Maybe its good that I dont forget but I really did quite like that bit about myself before and I'm quite self conscious about it now. You'd think I'd cover it up if that were the case but I dont really. I am an odd sort ;-). Anyway to cut a longer story shorter he needs me to use a load of lotions and potions around the bottom area and take some nasty antibiotics, definitely no drinking with them and he said they can make you feel really ill but they will really help me sort things out "down there" so guess I'll be taking them then!

Had a lovely day yesterday, we went to Ascot with Connor, started out really boring but ended up having impromptu party at our house with all the football crowd, good fun but little headache this morning. Had to drop hubby at airport early this evening, really really odd as he's just been here for the last 4 months, I shall really miss having him here, I've grown really used to him being around again. Betty has clearly been taking blonde lessons over the weekend, she really surpassed herself this evening, resulted in me looking up bizarre things on the internet and having a very large glass of wine! Beyond that my lips are sealed, well for a little bit anyway.

Bootcamp next weekend, something to look forward to, how many outfits will I need for all this sweating I will be doing I wonder. Would we be terribly naughty if we snuck champagne in to have at the end of our virtuous days? sod it we are going to do it anyway. I think I will have a blogging frenzy next weekend, all those surrey housewives, bound to be a story or two in there for you all! People keep asking me what on earth I'm actually going to be doing but lets face it this is a bootcamp at the grove, so frankly it's all a bit easy, they are probably very famous last words but put it this way, the biggest loser it isnt, the only thing I'll be losing is my dignity if i'm not careful... God I hope there are some super unfit people at it. I ran up and down the drive four times yesterday trying to get in shape for it but my running up hill is pathetic, honestly a snail could do it faster, only good thing is I'm a stubborn cow so although its really really slow i dont stop running. Now just an odd aside I keep meaning to mention, I had stopped sweating must have had something to do with the cancer although I cant find reference to it anywhere but I definitely wasnt sweating for the last year or so when I exercised but now I do, really odd that one isnt it.

Saw my little bro this evening (well actually hes rather a large little bro), he goes to Uni in America on thursday, cant believe it where does time go, we will miss him particularly Connor who just adores him, took my mind off being in the house alone though, really really dont like that even though I am brave supermum it can get a bit scary up here on your own, if you let it.

And that my beautiful blogging fans is it for tonight, hacked off that so sleepy every afternoon and then seem to get "past it" and be up til 1am, no wonder I feel tired all the time. Actually getting the all clear seems to have released some major stress stuff because I have been really really tired ever since, I think its like when you stop at christmas or when you go on holiday and then you get sick. Hope I wont get something now.

Busy week ahead so must go. Nite Nite x