Frustrated of Windlesham!!!!

No internet connection since yesterday, only just got reconnected, soo frustrating!

A lot has happened the last couple of days, first of all went to see the gynecologist yesterday, I didnt realise that what he needed to do was quite so drastic, involves surgery and cutting holes all over my tummy, at least they are small i suppose. Apparently i'm the youngest person hes ever seen with this cancer and so whilst he's done this type of operation i am making medical history. The other consultant wants to come and watch, bizarre, i mean personally i'd rather be watching 24 or something. Need to take blood, forget it poor nurse fails miserably and asks me to come back later.

I then visited possibly the most depressing place i've ever been to for my "mould". Basically putty between the butt cheeks, very nice. St Lukes Cancer Center, unfortunately a place i'm going to have to visit every darn day from now on.

Then back to reality, FY'11 planning again in the afternoon, actually it was a refreshing change from Cancer talk and we got a lot done so good acheivement. Quite late by this point but hospital still awaits my blood so off i go, success this time, another appointment ticked off the list.

Friends came to see me last night, lovely evening, bit tearful in places but really nice although did have a incy bitty headache this morning when i woke up, thanks Michelle for dragging me to the games room ;-)

Then panicked as they never seem to be able to get into my veins at the minute (dehydrated!)and was due for the special radiotherapy CT scan today. Drank gallons of water to rehydrate and off we went back to St. Luke's. Some little tattoo's today (so they can line you up in the same place each day) dye flushed through the veins and some barium up the bottom. Think thats a good summary. OK another thing ticked off the list.

Sat on a bench and ate a bath bun afterwards, highlight of the day ;-) Phil dragged me into the mini garage to cheer me up and get me thinking about something else other than trying to tell connor my "news". Just got to get rid of my car now, actually very excited.

Darned internet got in the way after that, took me about two hours to get reconnected, just about managed to get Connor to swimming in between. Connor asked me why i had a plaster on my arm, here goes i think, " we'll chat about it when we get home i say, i had to go to the doctors today".

So I tell Connor, and how did he take it? no bloomin' reaction hardly, well not externally or yet i mean i look the same right so maybe he cant absorb it. Phil says have you mentioned the "C" word, i admit no, he says ive got to tell connor, so i do, reaction, oh you've got Cancer will you lose your hair? I reassure him probably no and he says "can i have some ribena mummy". Literally still no reaction at all, all that in my head and nothing i guess we may see something later but its almost an anticlimax, can daddy put him to bed because he's going away saturday. I almost feel rejected. Hey ho, guess what no appointments tomorrow a whole clear day to do my work and a 40th in the evening. Almost normal. Next week.

Oncology appt monday, portacath tuesday, ovary operation wednesday, recover thursday, team meeting all day friday....

Till next time x