Friday 30th April
What happened I hear you ask, well I just decided hospital was such a lovely place and i enjoy operations so much that i'd have an extra op and stay an extra day!
What really happened is that after my first operation to move my ovaries (yes finally convinced bupa they were worth saving) some stupid nurse did not listen to me when i said i really needed to go to the toilet but was having trouble doing so, to the point i had over 1.5 litres of fluid in my bladder which was squishing my newly positioned ovaries and so i was in agony! Thanks to that stupid nurse bupa have had to pay for another surgery and i now have to have a catheter for a few days to give my bladder a rest as its been stretched. Quite a cool party trick though, i can literally pee at the turn of a tap.
I definitely do look like a stab victim now, two chest wounds (one with a rather large bulge) and four stomach ones, i also look like a pot bellied pig where my tummy is so bloated. The catheter, thats down strapped to my leg all in all a rather beautiful sight, not but to be honest i'm so glad that bits over that i'm not really worried.
I couldnt bring myself to cancel the girly pamper party i had planned for tonight although goodness only knows what bit of me they can pamper now. I'm really excited about having everyone round but dont want to scare people or fall asleep at 7.10pm on the sofa but i guess it may happen so apologies girlies now. I may risk a glass of champers though and watch it come out the other end, how bizarre. Thanks hubby he went and got that for me today and i'm wearing one of my new trackies. Lucky me hubby is being truly awesome, cant wait for the chocolate cake to emerge from the kitchen, not sure betty is so keen though she thinks there is going to be an awful lot of mess.
Hope i dont scare connor too much when he comes home from school but so looking forward to seeing him.
So what happens now, catheter until monday and then chemo and radiotherapy start tuesday. 8am start at the hospital. Supposed to look at hot tubs at the weekend I'll let you know if we make it!
Tutty bye for now i need to go do some work.
T
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Another day in Paradise (yeah right make that Hospital!)
Bad day today so will be glad when its over, not slept well as this stupid thing in my chest hurts and cant bear to touch the skin. I look grotesque and it makes me want to cry especially when i know i'm going to have four new wounds to look at later so i'm trying really hard to be brave and not think about it, i'm saving my ovaries which is much more important right.
There is of course something good you can take out of every day, i have a gaggle of superwomen that want to come to the hospital with me, which makes me feel very special and hubby comes back later which is great but even better is hes got me lots of prezzies to cheer me up.
And best of all (well right now cos i'm thirsty) is that i just read my admittance letter and i cant have a drink after 8am when i thought it would be after midnight so betty has run off to make me a big mug of tea. Yippee!
I cant believe how many people are reading this but its really really nice to know you are, kind of comforting even though i know it must be distressing but honestly i'm still bearing up.
Write tomorrow when back from hospital hopefully.
x
There is of course something good you can take out of every day, i have a gaggle of superwomen that want to come to the hospital with me, which makes me feel very special and hubby comes back later which is great but even better is hes got me lots of prezzies to cheer me up.
And best of all (well right now cos i'm thirsty) is that i just read my admittance letter and i cant have a drink after 8am when i thought it would be after midnight so betty has run off to make me a big mug of tea. Yippee!
I cant believe how many people are reading this but its really really nice to know you are, kind of comforting even though i know it must be distressing but honestly i'm still bearing up.
Write tomorrow when back from hospital hopefully.
x
Ouch!
ok looking like i've been shot or something, bleeding wounds , a huge lump in my chest and my blooming arm is killing me, totally no idea why that is but feeling a bit worse for wear!
Betty and i had a giggle at least though (told you i wasnt going to lose my sense of humour) the nurse was asking usual admission questions and i said she lived with me but the way i said it made her sound like my partner (yeah yeah dream on guys) so we had a bit of a laugh with the nurse about that one. Betty's Bitch has got a bit of a ring to it though dont you think.
V. Nervous, starting to get pathological fear of everything to do with hospitals which i'd better get over by tomorrow morning.
Got some lovely cards at home waiting for me when i got back and a bunch of flowers, thanks Charlie and Clive, honestly you lot are brilliant. Getting worried if any of you get sick that i can live up to the amazing example you are all giving me.
No Hubby or Boy tonight, going to miss them both but at least i will probably get some peaceful sleep rather than being pushed out of bed and i wont be able to fall asleep with Connor and then spend the rest of the night trying to go back to sleep!
;-)
Betty and i had a giggle at least though (told you i wasnt going to lose my sense of humour) the nurse was asking usual admission questions and i said she lived with me but the way i said it made her sound like my partner (yeah yeah dream on guys) so we had a bit of a laugh with the nurse about that one. Betty's Bitch has got a bit of a ring to it though dont you think.
V. Nervous, starting to get pathological fear of everything to do with hospitals which i'd better get over by tomorrow morning.
Got some lovely cards at home waiting for me when i got back and a bunch of flowers, thanks Charlie and Clive, honestly you lot are brilliant. Getting worried if any of you get sick that i can live up to the amazing example you are all giving me.
No Hubby or Boy tonight, going to miss them both but at least i will probably get some peaceful sleep rather than being pushed out of bed and i wont be able to fall asleep with Connor and then spend the rest of the night trying to go back to sleep!
;-)
Monday, April 26, 2010
Another day down!
Phew got through another day, just been filling in 100's of forms ready for the next couple of days in hospital, soon i think they wont have enough space for me to list all my previous surgeries....
I am rather speechless today, I always knew Cisco was the best company to work for but today they proved it 1000%, the support in getting my surgery sorted with bupa on wednesday, well I am truly truly greatful. Gonna blub if i carry on thinking about it so I'll just leave it there.
Today was oncology, this was a posh depressing place with people attached to poison machines, could not wait to leave there, cant explain my pathological fear of chemo, i know and everyone is telling me the radiotherapy will be worse but its the chemo that is worrying me, anyway not as bad as i thought, only 4 days a week, as annabelle said thats nearly only half a week, great way to look at it so thats what i'm going to do. More blood, honestly does no one talk to each other, they all want their own piece of me.
Goodness the power of a blog, so many messages today with offers of visits and tea, bless you all and I do expect you all to come visit me, think i shall be like the queen taking visitors in my new pagoda!
Connor is getting a lot of late nights and now two sleepovers as we figured he didnt need to know about me being in hospital for the next couple of days, I'm worried that we are over compensating but just trying to make it ok for him and minimise the impact. He seems to be coping so well bless him, sure he's loving seeing all his mates so much. Admitted he quite likes Casey tonight, well cute.
Cheerio for now all, thanks for all the great support and for reading my blog, glad you are all enjoying it (well you know what i mean).
x
I am rather speechless today, I always knew Cisco was the best company to work for but today they proved it 1000%, the support in getting my surgery sorted with bupa on wednesday, well I am truly truly greatful. Gonna blub if i carry on thinking about it so I'll just leave it there.
Today was oncology, this was a posh depressing place with people attached to poison machines, could not wait to leave there, cant explain my pathological fear of chemo, i know and everyone is telling me the radiotherapy will be worse but its the chemo that is worrying me, anyway not as bad as i thought, only 4 days a week, as annabelle said thats nearly only half a week, great way to look at it so thats what i'm going to do. More blood, honestly does no one talk to each other, they all want their own piece of me.
Goodness the power of a blog, so many messages today with offers of visits and tea, bless you all and I do expect you all to come visit me, think i shall be like the queen taking visitors in my new pagoda!
Connor is getting a lot of late nights and now two sleepovers as we figured he didnt need to know about me being in hospital for the next couple of days, I'm worried that we are over compensating but just trying to make it ok for him and minimise the impact. He seems to be coping so well bless him, sure he's loving seeing all his mates so much. Admitted he quite likes Casey tonight, well cute.
Cheerio for now all, thanks for all the great support and for reading my blog, glad you are all enjoying it (well you know what i mean).
x
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The week ahead.....
Looms with uncertainty.
The 40th was lovely, Vicky looked amazing, kind of sad though, last night with hubby as the "old me" for a while. Then rushed around like a looney since then, had to drop hubby at airport on saturday morning (sad) then football, football and more football. Managed to sandwich in a visit to my lovely uncle and aunt in beautiful upper slaughter and a visit to my amazing friends (you know who you are but i dont want to embarrass you) who have even though they have a lot to deal with themselves been absolutely rocks for me.
Connor asked me if my cancer was catching but given i've had a cuddle or six since so i guess he did believe me when i said no ;-)
Been sorting my car out tonight as that goes tomorrow, cant believe i wont be driving after this week for a while but hey its going to be great to have something new to look forward to at the end of it.
Now its late and i'm feeling kind of lonely and rather nervous about the week ahead. Will I sort out my ovaries, will i get through the chemo conversation tomorrow or the hospital visits, will i win the blooming lottery, at least that might help!!!! Well you know what folks i will, felt very angry about certain people this weekend, namely my parents but you know what its so wasted on them that i've decided to take that energy and use it to get me through the next week so its actually probably quite a good thing.
So its goodnight from me, the close to an eventful week, i cant believe how much has changed but I think its probably going to change even more next week so better get used to it.
;-)
The 40th was lovely, Vicky looked amazing, kind of sad though, last night with hubby as the "old me" for a while. Then rushed around like a looney since then, had to drop hubby at airport on saturday morning (sad) then football, football and more football. Managed to sandwich in a visit to my lovely uncle and aunt in beautiful upper slaughter and a visit to my amazing friends (you know who you are but i dont want to embarrass you) who have even though they have a lot to deal with themselves been absolutely rocks for me.
Connor asked me if my cancer was catching but given i've had a cuddle or six since so i guess he did believe me when i said no ;-)
Been sorting my car out tonight as that goes tomorrow, cant believe i wont be driving after this week for a while but hey its going to be great to have something new to look forward to at the end of it.
Now its late and i'm feeling kind of lonely and rather nervous about the week ahead. Will I sort out my ovaries, will i get through the chemo conversation tomorrow or the hospital visits, will i win the blooming lottery, at least that might help!!!! Well you know what folks i will, felt very angry about certain people this weekend, namely my parents but you know what its so wasted on them that i've decided to take that energy and use it to get me through the next week so its actually probably quite a good thing.
So its goodnight from me, the close to an eventful week, i cant believe how much has changed but I think its probably going to change even more next week so better get used to it.
;-)
Friday, April 23, 2010
UNFAIR!!!!!
Just when i was having a good day BUPA have to come along and spoil it! Seems like my ovaries arent worth saving, its too experimental and preventative and not actually whats wrong with me so they dont want to pay for it.....
Big time peed off and cried down the phone at the bupa guy, serves him right. I dont have £9k tucked in my back pocket or up my botty to pay for it.
What happens next, no idea right now
Mrs Sad from Windlesham
;-(
Big time peed off and cried down the phone at the bupa guy, serves him right. I dont have £9k tucked in my back pocket or up my botty to pay for it.
What happens next, no idea right now
Mrs Sad from Windlesham
;-(
Thought i'd never say this!!!!
Only joking of course but got to tell you my hubby has been so wonderful.......
I'm loving his little ways of cheering me up and my friends too you are keeping me, and him strong.
How cool that i dont have any appointments today only trouble is hubby trying to get me to do some exercise - yuk, big yuk I prefer dreaming about hot tubs.
As you can tell a better day today which is why i wanted to post this because i know i have some new little followers so you need to know its not all doom and gloom and you're all bloody right I am super super strong and i'm not going to let a little pain in the ass get me down. Boom Boom!!
P.S. Wondering why the nutella name, well its not because i like chocolate spread or some bad attempt at another botty joke its cos it was my nickname at school as my middle name is Nadella and it just felt like the right name, bit jokey, kind of not me because its not Tania. Hope that makes sense.
Love to you all
I'm loving his little ways of cheering me up and my friends too you are keeping me, and him strong.
How cool that i dont have any appointments today only trouble is hubby trying to get me to do some exercise - yuk, big yuk I prefer dreaming about hot tubs.
As you can tell a better day today which is why i wanted to post this because i know i have some new little followers so you need to know its not all doom and gloom and you're all bloody right I am super super strong and i'm not going to let a little pain in the ass get me down. Boom Boom!!
P.S. Wondering why the nutella name, well its not because i like chocolate spread or some bad attempt at another botty joke its cos it was my nickname at school as my middle name is Nadella and it just felt like the right name, bit jokey, kind of not me because its not Tania. Hope that makes sense.
Love to you all
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